Recognising Autistic Traits in Others

In our daily lives, we meet many people, each with their own unique personality and way of interacting with the world. We understand that people have different hair colours, different tastes in music, and different skills. It is helpful to remember that brains also work in different ways. This natural variation in human neurology is often called neurodiversity.

Have you ever met someone who communicates a little differently, or seems deeply passionate about one specific topic, and wondered about their unique way of seeing the world? This gentle guide explores some common traits associated with autism, not to encourage amateur diagnosis, but to foster greater empathy, patience, and understanding in our everyday encounters.

A Crucial First Step: Understanding, Not Labelling

Before exploring any specific traits, it is essential to state one thing clearly: you cannot diagnose autism from a brief interaction. A formal diagnosis is a complex process carried out by a team of trained specialists, such as paediatricians and psychologists, and can take a long time to achieve. Autism is a spectrum condition, which means it affects every person differently; if you have met one autistic person, you have met just one autistic person.

The purpose of recognising potential traits is not to put a label on someone. Rather, it is to open our minds to the possibility that a person's different way of being might stem from a different way of processing the world. This understanding allows us to adjust our own behaviour to be more patient, kind, and inclusive.

Why You Simply Can't 'Spot' Autism

A key reason to avoid making assumptions is that many different conditions can share traits that, on the surface, look like autism. A health professional might struggle to distinguish between them, so it's impossible for a layperson to do so. For example:

• Anxiety Disorders

  A person with social anxiety might avoid social interaction or eye contact, which can look similar to autistic social differences.

• Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

  Difficulties with inattention, interrupting others, or fidgeting are traits of ADHD that can also overlap with autistic experiences.

• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

  The repetitive behaviours and thoughts associated with OCD can sometimes be mistaken for autistic repetitive behaviours or special interests.

• Attachment Issues or Trauma

  Past experiences of trauma can lead to behaviours and social difficulties that mirror some autistic traits.

Because we can never see the full picture of another person's life, the only appropriate response to observing a difference is curiosity and kindness, not judgment or diagnosis.

Noticing Differences in Social Communication

In brief or fleeting encounters, you might notice unique approaches to communication. Again, these are simply differences, not faults.

• You might notice... direct and literal speech

  An autistic person may be very direct in their communication, saying exactly what they mean. They may also take what others say very literally, sometimes finding it difficult to understand sarcasm, irony, or figures of speech like "it's raining cats and dogs".

• You might notice... a different conversational flow

  The typical back-and-forth of a conversation can sometimes be challenging for an autistic person. They may have difficulty knowing when to speak, or they might interrupt without being aware of social rules about turn-taking.

• You might notice... differences in non-verbal communication

  Autistic people often find it hard to interpret non-verbal social cues like body language or tone of voice. You might also observe differences in their own non-verbal communication, such as variations in eye contact (less or more intense) or speaking in a unique rhythm or monotonous tone.

Observing Patterns in Behaviour

You may also observe distinct patterns in how a person behaves or engages with their environment. These behaviours often serve a crucial purpose for the person.

• You might notice... a strong need for routine

  Many autistic people find great comfort and security in routine and predictability. As a result, an unexpected change can cause genuine anxiety and distress, even if the change seems minor to others.

• You might notice... an intense and joyful focus

  It is common for autistic people to have very strong, highly focused interests. You might observe someone who can talk with great passion and expertise about a specific topic, which is a source of immense joy for them.

• You might notice... repetitive movements (stimming)

  You may see repetitive movements such as hand-flapping, rocking, spinning, or finger-flicking. This is known as stimming and it is a natural way for many autistic people to self-regulate their emotions or manage sensory input.

• You might notice... a different reaction to the sensory world

  Some autistic people are hyper-sensitive and can be easily overwhelmed by bright lights, loud sounds, or strong smells. Others may be hypo-sensitive and might seek out strong sensory experiences to feel regulated.

Putting Small Pieces Together

It is the pattern of traits, not a single observation, that is important. Seeing one of these characteristics in isolation means very little; many non-autistic people dislike loud noises or have passionate hobbies. However, if you notice a combination of several traits over time-for example, a person who speaks very literally, has an intense interest in trains, and often rocks back and forth when feeling overwhelmed-it is reasonable to consider that they may be neurodivergent. This consideration is not for labelling them, but for guiding your own response.

Responding with Kindness and Patience

If you recognise some of these traits in someone, the goal is not to conclude, "That person must be autistic". The kindest and most helpful response is to simply hold the possibility that they may experience the world differently from you.

This gentle shift in perspective can change everything. It encourages you to be more patient if someone needs extra time to reply in a conversation. It might prompt you to be clearer and more direct in your own communication. It can help you see that a behaviour like stimming is not "strange", but a functional and important part of that person's way of being.

By choosing understanding over assumption, and patience over judgment, we can all help to create a more compassionate and inclusive world without preconceptions, bias, and incorrect assumptions.