Finding Your Tribe

Navigating a world that is not always designed with autistic people in mind can sometimes feel isolating. Have you ever felt as though no one truly understands your experiences? The good news is that you are not alone. Connecting with other autistic people can be a profoundly positive and affirming experience, offering a sense of community and belonging that is invaluable. This article will explore the importance of these connections and offer practical ways to find and build your own community.

The Comfort of Shared Experience

Living in a society that primarily operates on neurotypical social norms can lead to feelings of being different or misunderstood. When you connect with other autistic people, you often find a shared understanding that can be incredibly validating. Suddenly, experiences that you thought were unique to you-perhaps your intense passion for a special interest or your particular sensory sensitivities-are recognised and understood by others. This shared experience can significantly reduce feelings of isolation.

For example, imagine describing the overwhelming experience of a noisy supermarket to someone who has never felt that sensory overload. They might try to be sympathetic, but can they truly understand? Now, picture sharing that same experience with another autistic person who nods in complete understanding because they have felt it too. This validation of your reality is a powerful tool for building self-esteem and a stronger sense of self.

Practical Steps to Finding Your Community

So, how can you find these connections? Fortunately, there are many avenues available, and taking the first step is often the biggest hurdle. Exploring these options can open up a world of understanding and friendship.

• Exploring the Digital World

  The internet provides a wealth of opportunities to connect with autistic people from all over the world. Online forums, dedicated websites, and social media groups can be safe spaces to share experiences, ask for advice, and simply be yourself without the pressure of masking. You can search for terms like "autistic community", "autistic support group", or "autistic-led organisations" to find these spaces. It is important to be cautious and choose communities that feel safe and supportive. Remember to protect your personal information when interacting online.

• Connecting in Your Local Area

  Many areas have local support or social groups created specifically for autistic people. These groups offer a chance to meet others in person in a structured and understanding environment. Activities can range from informal chats to events based on shared interests, such as a gaming club, a walking group, or an art class. National charities, such as the National Autistic Society, often have directories of local groups, and your local council may also be able to provide information.

• Focusing on Special Interests

  One of the most effective ways to make friends is to find people who share your passions. What do you love to learn about or do more than anything else? Whether your interest is in technology, history, art, or anything in between, there is likely a club or group for it. Joining a group based on a special interest provides a natural topic of conversation and a comfortable context for social interaction.

• Seeking Out Autistic-Led Organisations

  Organisations that are run by and for autistic people offer a unique and empowering form of connection. These groups approach support from a position of lived experience, which can be incredibly affirming. Engaging with autistic-led organisations can provide support and also offer opportunities to get involved in advocacy, helping to create a more inclusive world for the entire autistic community.

Finding a group is the first step, but how do you begin to build those connections? It is a process that can be taken one step at a time.

Take it at Your Own Pace

There is no need to rush. It is perfectly fine to observe an online group for a while before you post, or to attend a local meeting without feeling pressure to speak to everyone.

If large groups feel overwhelming, starting with one-on-one interactions can be easier. You could suggest an activity you both enjoy with just one other person from the group.

Communicate Authentically

The best friendships are built on honesty and being yourself. In autistic spaces, you are more likely to find friends who appreciate you for who you are.

• Be kind and respectful

  Kindness and respect are the foundations of any good friendship.

• Listen to others

  Pay attention when your friends are talking and show you are interested in their thoughts and feelings.

• Be honest

  Trustworthy friends are those who tell the truth and keep their promises.

Nurturing Your Friendships

Does a friendship have to look a certain way? Not at all. It is important to remember that friendships can take many forms and develop over time.

• Be patient

  Making friends is not always a quick process. It can take time to build a strong connection, so do not be discouraged if it does not happen immediately.

• Embrace different types of friendship

  You might have a few very close friends and other friends you see less often. It is also perfectly fine to have friends you only connect with online. All these types of friendships are valid and valuable.

• Respect differences and forgive mistakes

  Everyone is different, and everyone makes mistakes. Being willing to respect other people's differences and forgive them when they get things wrong is a key part of being a good friend.

The Power of a Shared Space

What do these communities really offer? The benefits are numerous and can have a significant impact on your well-being.

• Practical Advice and Emotional Support

  Whether you are navigating the process of seeking a diagnosis, looking for employment, or trying to manage a challenging sensory environment, other autistic people can offer invaluable practical advice based on their own experiences. Beyond the practical, the emotional support of knowing you have people to turn to who genuinely understand can make difficult times much more manageable.

• Shared Understanding of Differences

  Explaining sensory sensitivities or communication preferences to neurotypical people can sometimes be exhausting. Within an autistic community, there is often an inherent understanding of these differences. You may not need to explain why you need to wear noise-cancelling headphones in a cafe or why you prefer direct communication; these things are often accepted and understood without question.

• Opportunities for Unmasked Interaction

  Masking, or hiding autistic traits to fit in, can be incredibly draining. Autistic spaces can provide a rare and welcome opportunity to unmask and interact authentically. Imagine being able to stim freely without fear of judgment or to talk passionately about your special interest without worrying about boring others. This freedom to be your true self is liberating and essential for good mental health.

Embracing Your Community

Finding your community is a journey, and it is perfectly acceptable to take it at your own pace. You might start by quietly observing an online forum before you feel ready to post. Or you might prefer to attend a few different local groups to find the one that feels right for you. Remember, the goal is to find spaces where you feel understood, accepted, and valued for who you are.

It's these connections that will empower you, support you through challenges, and celebrate your unique strengths, helping you to thrive as an autistic person.