Being An Ally and Advocate for Autistic People

If you are a friend, family member, colleague, or professional who wants to support the autistic people in your life, your willingness to learn and help is a fantastic starting point. Being an effective ally and advocate, however, goes beyond just good intentions. It requires a commitment to listening, understanding, and taking thoughtful action to foster a more inclusive and accepting world.

This article is for neurotypical people who want to learn how to do it right. We will explore the core principles of effective allyship and provide practical guidance on how you can support autistic people respectfully, champion their rights, and help create environments where they can thrive.

The Golden Rule of Allyship: "Nothing About Us Without Us"

The most important principle to guide you is a phrase that comes from the heart of the disability rights movement: "Nothing About Us Without Us". This means that any decisions, discussions, or policies that affect autistic people should be created in full partnership with them, and ideally, be led by them.

What does this mean for you as an ally? It means recognising that autistic people are the foremost experts on their own experiences. The most crucial part of allyship is to step back and listen. Your role is not to speak for autistic people, but to listen to what they are saying, respect their perspectives, and, where appropriate, help to amplify their voices so they are heard by others.

Practical Steps to Being a Better Ally

1. Educate Yourself from Autistic Sources

   To be a good ally, you must be an informed one. While professional resources are helpful, it is essential to learn about autism from autistic people themselves. Seek out and engage with books, blogs, and social media content created by autistic authors and advocates. This provides authentic insight into the lived experience of autism that a neurotypical perspective can never fully capture.

2. Challenge Myths and Stigma

   What do you do when you hear a common stereotype about autism in a conversation? As an informed ally, you are in a position to gently challenge misinformation. When you encounter myths-such as autism being caused by vaccines, or the idea that all autistic people lack empathy-you can calmly and respectfully correct them with facts. Challenging these stereotypes helps to create a more accurate public understanding and a less judgmental environment for autistic people.

3. Be Patient and Adapt Your Communication

   Respecting communication differences is a fundamental part of allyship. Be clear and direct because Autistic people often appreciate clear, direct, and literal communication. Avoid relying on hints, idioms, or sarcasm, as this can be confusing. Also allow extra processing time. Be patient and comfortable with pauses in a conversation. An autistic person may need more time to process what you have said and formulate their response. Rushing them can create unnecessary pressure.

4. Support Their Autonomy and Choices

   A key part of respect is supporting a person's autonomy-their right to make their own decisions about their own life. This means avoiding assumptions about what they can or cannot do, supporting their choices, even if you would choose differently, and offering help without taking over. You can empower them by supporting their independence and respecting their preferences rather than doing things for them that they are capable of doing themselves.

Advocacy: Speaking Up With, Not For

When is it your place to speak up, and how do you do it right? Advocacy is about supporting a person to have their voice heard when they are not being listened to. It is a delicate role that must be approached with care.

The difference is between speaking over someone and speaking up with them. Your role is not to replace their voice with your own, but to amplify theirs.

• When to Advocate

  Advocacy is most needed when an autistic person's rights are being ignored (for example, a request for reasonable adjustments is being dismissed), or when they have specifically asked for your help to communicate their needs in a difficult situation.

• Always be guided by their wishes

  Before you act, ask them, "What would you like to happen here?" and "How would you like me to help?" Your advocacy must be led by their goals.

• Amplify, don't replace

  Instead of saying, "This is what they need", try saying, "As [Person's Name] has already explained, they need the instructions in writing. How can we make sure that happens?" This keeps the focus on them as the expert.

• Know when to step back

  Sometimes, a person may need a formal, independent advocate, such as a legal professional or a specialist from a charity. In these cases, your role as an ally is to support them in accessing that formal help.

A Partnership of Respect

Being an effective ally and advocate for autistic people is an ongoing journey of learning and reflection. It is not about being a saviour, but about being a partner. It is about using your position to challenge barriers, foster understanding, and create more accessible spaces.

By listening to autistic voices, respecting their autonomy, and acting in partnership, you can contribute to building a more equitable and compassionate world where everyone is empowered to be their authentic self.