Autistic Communication Differences

Communication is a two-way street. For any interaction to be successful, it requires a degree of mutual understanding and a willingness to adapt to different styles. When a neurotypical person communicates with an autistic person, recognising and respectfully adjusting to their communication differences is not just a kindness-it is the key to building stronger, clearer, and more successful relationships.

This article is for anyone who wishes to improve their communication with the autistic people in their lives. We will explore common autistic communication differences in more detail and provide practical, actionable strategies to help bridge communication gaps and foster genuine connection.

Common Autistic Communication Differences

So, what are some of these communication differences you might encounter? These are not flaws or errors, but simply a different way of processing and using language, stemming from the unique wiring of the autistic brain.

• Literal Interpretation

  Many autistic people process language literally. This means they may not automatically understand sarcasm, idioms, or figures of speech. For example, a manager might say, "Can you just keep an eye on your emails?" A neurotypical person would likely understand the implied meaning: "Respond to urgent emails while continuing with your other work". An autistic person, however, might take this literally and stop their other work to only watch their email inbox. This is not a failure to understand; it is a more precise interpretation of the words used.

• Directness and Honesty

  Autistic communication is often very direct, honest, and to the point. An autistic person is likely to say exactly what they mean. While this can sometimes be misinterpreted by neurotypical people as bluntness, it stems from a preference for clarity and efficiency. For example, instead of using a neurotypical social pleasantry to exit a conversation, an autistic person might say, "I am no longer interested in this topic and I am going to leave now". This honesty, once understood, can build incredible trust.

• Eye Contact (Non-Verbal Communication)

  For many autistic people, making and sustaining direct eye contact can be intensely uncomfortable, distracting, or even physically painful. It can feel like trying to listen to someone while a bright, flashing light is being shone in your eyes. Avoiding eye contact is therefore not a sign of dishonesty or disinterest, but a necessary strategy to manage sensory input and be able to concentrate on the words being said.

• Body Language and Facial Expressions (Non-Verbal Communication)

  An autistic person may not use typical body language or facial expressions to convey their feelings, or they may find it very difficult to interpret these non-verbal cues in others. A person might feel very happy but have a neutral or "flat" facial expression. It is important not to assume their internal state based on their external appearance.

• Processing Time

  Autistic people often need more time to process verbal information before they can formulate a response. This can result in pauses in a conversation. For neurotypical people, who are often uncomfortable with silence, there can be a temptation to fill the gap by rephrasing the question or moving on. However, this can interrupt the person's thought process.

• Echolalia and AAC

  Some autistic people may use echolalia, which is the repetition of words or phrases they have heard. This can be a way of processing language, affirming what was said, or a form of self-regulation. Others may have limited or no spoken language and use Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) methods, such as a picture system or a speech-generating device, to communicate.

Practical Tips for More Effective Communication

How can you adapt your own communication style to be a better and more supportive communication partner? It often involves making small, conscious shifts in your approach.

• Be Clear, Concise, and Direct

  This is the most effective strategy. Use straightforward language and avoid ambiguity. For example, a vague request like "Could you get that report sorted out for me?" could be rephrased as "Please could you proofread the three-page report on my desk and email me any corrections by 4PM?"

• Avoid Unexplained Idioms and Sarcasm

  If you naturally use sarcasm or figures of speech, be aware that their meaning might be lost. If you say something sarcastically, you may need to follow it up with a clarification. For example, it may be confusing if you use sarcasm like "Oh year, that was a great job, wasn't it?". It would be clearer to say, "That didn't go like I hoped it would. But it's just a small error, so please don't worry about it".

• Be Patient and Allow Processing Time

  Resist the urge to fill silences. When you ask a question, give the person the time they need to think without interrupting them. This respect for their processing time shows you value their response.

• Check for Understanding Explicitly

  To ensure you are both on the same page, check for understanding in a collaborative way. For example, it is unhelpful to simply ask, "Do you get it?". But a helpful approach might be if an autistic person's manager were to ask, "Just so I know I've explained the project clearly, could you tell me what you see as the first step?"

• Listen to Their Words

  Trust what the person says over your interpretation of their body language. If their words and their non-verbal cues seem to conflict, it is often more reliable to believe their words or to ask for clarification directly. For example: "You've said you are okay to continue, but I just want to check in as I'm not always good at reading things. Is there anything you need?"

A Two-Way Street of Understanding

Successful communication between autistic and non-autistic people is a partnership. It requires a willingness from the neurotypical person to move beyond their own communication assumptions and to listen with an open mind and a patient heart.

By adopting these clear, direct, and respectful communication strategies, you can reduce misunderstandings, build trust, and foster stronger, more genuine, and more rewarding connections with the autistic people in your life.